One of the best things in life after becoming a Mother is seeing the smile, laughter & joy from your kids faces. Nothing beats the feeling of watching them enjoying themselves with the simplest things that life has to offer. Just a simple trip to the beach is one of the best things in life to them and also wears them out which is a plus for me :P.
S enjoyed it so much. She’s so brave now and had no fear going in the water. She went waist deep without a second thought while i sat there panicking thinking the worst of the worst. B on the other hand, he didn’t like any of it. He hated the sand and water. He stayed on his beach towel and played with me and his Godmamas. He spent most of his time trying to get our phones to watch Gangnam Style. But the feeling of being outdoors kept a smile on his face.
It’s nice to be able to take them out. Honestly i wish i had the energy to do more activities like this with them but with everything going on, the kids end up with the short end of the stick. So when we get the opportunities to do these types of things, we take full advantage of them. Staying out as long as possible wishing the day would last just a little longer.
Last week me and my lovelies decided to go on our first hike of the season. We decided to hike to the hidden beach to reward ourselves with some sun bathing after the 1.5 mile one way hike. Okay, let me take it back. It’s more of a walk and not an actual hike. But mind you, we are not “fit” girls. I am no fit girl that’s for sure. I don’t work out and the only exercise i get is chasing after the little ones around the house. So walking 1.5 miles (3 miles round-trip) with hills was pretty strenuous. I’m not going to lie. Was i sore the next day? Yes. Very. But I’ve vowed to myself that i will start getting a workout in at least 3 times a week. Not to get fit, but to be healthy. I want to live a long life to watch my kids grow and to watch my grand kids grow too.
That day was a much needed break for me. No kids, just my girls & a breathe of fresh it. The best part of the day was after the hike, we rewarded ourselves with some delicious buffet. Yeah, i know. You’re probably thinking WTF?! But we’re taking baby steps. Ha! I can’t wait for our next hike since it’s going to be an actual hike. Hopefully i’ll be able to take pictures if i don’t die on the way up!
a·pol·o·gy (-pl-j) n. pl. a·pol·o·gies
1. An acknowledgment expressing regret or asking pardon for a fault or offense.
for•give•ness (fərˈgɪv nɪs)n.
1. the act of forgiving or the state of being forgiven; pardon.
2. willingness to forgive.
Two of the hardest things for me to accept. With me on my new path to self-discovery, I wanted to touch bases on two things that have been a struggle for me. Apologies & Forgiveness. I have always been one to apologize for my wrong doings and will do whatever it takes to gain forgiveness, but when the tables are turned and I’m the one who has to receive the apology & give forgiveness, it’s not as easy for me to let things ‘go’.
I’ve encountered a lot of heartache in my life thus far. Betrayals, Lies, Death, Lost Friendships, etc. I’ve always been able to pick myself up through all the hardship and I’ve accepted so many apologizes that i never got and forgave those who didn’t deserve forgiveness. My decision to do these things is because I don’t want to carry the burden of having somebody elses faults impact me so heavily to a point where I become bitter. But in all honesty, deep down inside it never leaves. So i am bitter. I have not ‘fully’ forgiven. It’s one thing for me to hear and accept an apology but a total difference when it comes to forgiving. I will always accept an apology. If it’s said ‘sincerely‘ I without a doubt will take it & thank you for the apology. But when it comes to forgiving, that’s a total different story. Forgiveness to me isn’t just saying, “Ok, I forgive you…” it means that I can look past it all, not hold the wrong doing against you, and most importantly not to let it affect me today or tomorrow. Forgiveness is letting me be free from whatever happened negatively and moving on without a hint of looking back.
This is my weakness. I have almost no capacity in my heart to fully forgive. Yes, I’ll move on from it, look past it, and try my hardest to never to think about it again. But is that full forgiveness? No. It’s even harder for me to forgive those who don’t even apologize for their actions. It’s one thing to give an apology when you know you’re wrong but it’s a total difference when you feel like you aren’t. Don’t get me wrong, I myself have gone through scenarios where i refused to apologize for things i wasn’t apologetic for. But the difference i notice in myself than others is that i will never just ‘not‘ apologize. I will at least give you the reason for why i am not sorry nor will i say I’m sorry when I’m not. I don’t believe in ‘fake’ apologizes just to save yourself from a confrontation.
I’ve recently encountered a huge challenge in my life and in order for me to move on and take the next step, I have to forgive. This is a huge obstacle for me, the main obstacle that’s impacting my life right now. I want to forgive everybody who was involved regardless if they’ve apologized or not. I want to move past the past and fully wash their mistakes off my hands and to never look back. I want to fully, 100% forgive for once and never have to look back at this but that’s my challenge. How do i forgive when it’s impacting my life so much? How do i forgive when nobody was even sorry? This is my problem. Everyday i work at it more and more not because I want to forgive them, but i want to regain my sanity again. To not be bitter and to let go without any grudges. This is a challenge for me like i said, and everyday gets better and better, but I am still waiting for that day when i can fully 100% forgive.
Yesterday we were blessed with a gorgeous day. So Bae & I decided to truck the little ones on out to Woodland Park Zoo. Family time is extremely important to us since Bae is constantly working. So the days that he is off, we definitely take full advantage of it.
The kids enjoyed the sun, animals & food. More so S than B, since he’s still at the age where things like this don’t ‘appeal‘ to him. He even stared down an Elephant that was standing right in front of us without blinking or knowing that a huge creature that you don’t see everyday was staring him down. He was more interested in playing with dirt and running away from us. S on the other hand, asked questions about all the animals. She even asked us to buy her an Elephant! After an eventful day walking the whole Zoo, letting them play in the Zoomazium (Indoor Kid’s Playarea) & a little shopping at the Zoo Store, we called it a day.
Watching the kids play and interacting with one another the way they were made me miss how little they use to be. With my S being 4.6 years old & B being 17 months shows how fast kids do grow. Time flew past us. It still feels like yesterday when I gave birth to S and now she’s about to start Pre-School! So days like these are so important to me. They only stay little once and one day they’re going to be 18 and not wanting to do things like this with me.
I’m glad Spring is finally here because that just means that there will be a lot more outdoor adventures for me & the kiddies.
With my very long hiatus comes with a lot, i mean A LOT of updates with me & my life. But most importantly for those of you who don’t know I am now officially engaged! Let’s skip that story for a later post . I finally had my opportunity to propose to my bridal party. With a lot of hard work, time & brainstorming, i was FINALLY able to get what i wanted done properly. Inviting my ladies to a casual get together, I surprised them with my proposal & i am proud to announce they all said YES! Now with my girls by my side, the wedding planning begins.
I decided to demolish & recreate my blog. It’s been long overdue & it’s time i get a new start. My life has evolved from chaos to pure happiness & the journey I am on calls for a fresh start. Time to get to work
Note*** I’ve decided to keep this website public with the functionality of also keeping things private. In order to view the private posts, you will have to register so feel free to do so. That way i can monitor who sees what. Registration is on the sidebar under the “Login” widget.